Coming Back to Yourself

As life becomes busy again, caring for ourselves can mean more than finding time to rest; it can mean remembering to stay connected to ourselves along the way.

September has a way of arriving quietly.

The backpacks are packed.

The calendars begin to fill.

Summer routines give way to school schedules, work commitments,practices, appointments, and all the things that make life feel full again.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, we can lose track of ourselves.

Not because we're not paying attention.

But because there is simply so much to tend to.

Perhaps this is why September can be a good time to ask a different kindof question.

How am I?

Not how is everyone else doing.

Not what still needs to get done.

Not what am I supposed to be managing.

How am I?

It is a simple question.

And sometimes, surprisingly difficult to answer.

We can become so accustomed to moving through our days by responding to what is needed of us that we forget to notice what is happening within us.

We know what everyone else needs.

We know what needs to happen next.

We know what we should be doing.

But somewhere along the way, we may stop asking ourselves what we need.

This is one of the quieter challenges of caring for ourselves.

Emotional self-care isn't always about adding another thing to our already full lives.

Sometimes it is about becoming more aware of what is already there.

The tension we have been carrying.

The sadness we haven't had time to feel.

The resentment we keep brushing aside.

The longing we haven't quite allowed ourselves to name.

The part of us that is tired of always being the one who holds everything together.

Dear one...

You don't have to wait until you're completely depleted to begin paying attention to yourself.

You don't have to reach a breaking point before your needs become important.

Sometimes coming back to yourself begins with something very small.

A moment of noticing.

A quiet breath before answering the next question.

A pause before automatically saying yes.

A willingness to admit, I'm actually tired.

Or, this is harder for me than I thought.

Or even, I'm not sure what I need right now.

There is something tender about allowing ourselves to be honest in this way.

Because being connected to ourselves means making room for the parts of us that don't always have neat answers.

September reminds us that life can change without asking permission.

The light begins to shift.

The evenings become shorter.

The air carries the first hint of something different.

And perhaps we can allow ourselves to shift, too.

Not by becoming someone new.

Not by creating another list of things we should be doing better.

But by returning.

Returning to our own inner lives.

Returning to the things that matter to us.

Returning to the quiet knowing that can become difficult to hear when life gets loud.

Maybe this season can be an invitation to check in with yourself a little more often.

To notice when you're moving too quickly.

To notice when you're giving more than you have.

To notice when something inside you is asking for your attention.

And instead of immediately pushing it away, perhaps you can stay with it for a moment.

Listen.

There is wisdom in that kind of listening.

There is care in it.

And sometimes, there is the beginning of something healing.

The truth is, we will always have responsibilities.

There will always be another calendar to manage, another person to care for, another thing that needs our attention.

But we don't have to disappear inside all of it.

We can remain present to ourselves, too.

We can make room for our own experience.

We can remember that caring for ourselves isn't selfish.

It is part of how we remain connected; to ourselves, to the people we love, and to the life we are living.

As September unfolds, perhaps there is no need to rush.

Perhaps there is only a gentle invitation to come back.

To notice where you are.

To listen inward.

To remember yourself.

And to trust that even in the fullness of life, you are still here.

A Gentle Wish

May you remember, even in the fullness of this season, to make your way back to yourself.

With warmth,

Luz Cotto-Charneski, LCSW
Founder, New Light Psychotherapy

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